What Golf Taught Me About Letting Go.

The Obsession

Edition - 026

Welcome to The Obsession, glad you're here.

Golf is one of the most frustrating games in the world. It's essentially rage bait for yourself, and yet I just keep coming back.

I played competitively in high school. If you've ever played, you know the list: duffs, shanks, thins, out of bounds, water, lip outs, sometimes all in the same round. The game has an endless supply of ways to test your patience.

But here's what makes golf different from most sports: there is no "next play." You blow up on a hole, you take the score you get, and you move on. It's set in stone. You can't argue it, you can't replay it. The only thing you control is how you approach the next shot.

Growing up, that meant I had to learn how to keep my cool no matter what happened out there. Laugh it off, reset, and focus forward. At the time, I thought I was just learning how to play better golf. Looking back, I think it taught me far more than I realized.

I've found that in business, there are two versions of keeping your cool. The first is the surface level, putting on a smile and being civil. If you disagree with your boss, you're not going to lash out at them. That part is table stakes.

The harder part is what happens after the smile. Can you actually let it go?

Think about a client that didn't come through when you thought they would, or a disagreement with a coworker that caught you off guard. It can be easy to let that sit with you and ruin the rest of your day. But if you do, they're winning.

I've been in moments where a client blew me off and I felt the frustration start to settle in. But instead of sitting in it, I was able to turn my attention to the next thing I thought would be best for our business. That shift didn't come from nowhere, I think it was trained on the golf course years ago.

Just like in golf, you can't change the score on a hole that's already been played. But you can control how you walk to the next tee.

One of the hardest things to do is keep your cool in the heat of a moment. The even harder thing is to genuinely move on from it.

What was a lesson you took away from the sport you played growing up?

THE WEEKLY 3

1) One Question I Asked Myself

Am I actually letting things go, or am I just putting on a smile and carrying the frustration with me?

2) One Idea That Shifted Me

Keeping your cool and moving on are two different skills. The first is about how you treat others. The second is about how you treat yourself.

3) One Challenge to Take Into Your Week

The next time something frustrates you; at work, at home, wherever, notice if you're still thinking about it an hour later. If you are, remind yourself: the hole is already played. Walk to the next tee.