The power of asking.
The Obsession | Edition - 028
Welcome to The Obsession, glad you're here.
Public speaking is one of the most common fears in America. But from what I've seen, it goes beyond a stage. Most people are just afraid to talk to strangers in general.
And I don't get it.
There's this gap between people who are afraid to ask for help and people who are willing to provide it. That gap is bigger than you think.
Here's a simple example. You're at a restaurant and your food comes out wrong. A lot of people would just eat it and say nothing. But the waiter wants to help. They're working for tips, they want you to have a great experience. The willingness is already there. Someone just has to ask.
This same thing plays out in business and in your career every single day. Most people are willing to help. It makes them feel good, it makes them feel important, and they want to pass along what they know to someone who is genuinely interested. That's all you have to be.
So if people are willing to help, why does the gap still exist? Because most people never make the ask. Which means if you do, you might be the only one.
Enough convincing. Hopefully you believe me. People want to help you.
The real question is, how do you ask?
I've found that when making that first ask, especially in business, you want it to be three things. Genuine, specific, and about them.
When you are genuinely interested in someone, they sense it. You don't need a script. You need curiosity. And that starts with asking about them.
To be genuine you want to be specific. Not about what you want, but about what you want to know from them. Don't be afraid to get into the details as you feel out the conversation. The specificity is what separates a forgettable introduction from one that actually leads somewhere.
We know that people like to talk about themselves. Getting them talking about their experience does two things. It builds trust, and it gives you a chance to see if this is someone you actually want to continue working with.
These three things lay the foundation for a relationship. And that relationship can be the entire difference in whatever business you are looking to do.
Don't be afraid to talk to strangers. What's the worst thing that could happen?
THE WEEKLY 3
1) One Question I Asked Myself
When was the last time I didn't ask for something I wanted, and why did I hold back?
2) One Idea That Shifted Me
The gap between people willing to help and people willing to ask is where most of the opportunity is. You don't have to be the smartest person in the room. You just have to be the one who asks.
3) One Challenge to Take Into Your Week
Make one ask this week that you've been putting off. A coffee meeting, a question for a mentor, a favor from a colleague. Keep it genuine, specific, and about them. See what happens.
